Sorry I'm Late, I've Been Resetting My Nervous System in Italy
An update for you, dear reader
This publication is about changing the way we do things.
I do my best to highlight thoughts, patterns and ideas we take for granted and encourage readers to question what seems to be true but often is not. I was only able to change my life once I stopped accepting the premises we are taught in the United States1 about what makes for a good life—individually and communally—and how to create such a life.
At the root of many of the United States’ problems is distorted or disordered thinking. Almost every problem we have goes back to a fundamentally flawed assumption that was presented to us as an absolute truth rather than an opinion driven by ideology. We have been indoctrinated with a way of thinking that leads us to bad conclusions on a million different levels. Many Americans have developed a learned helplessness and believe that things are just the way they have to be and that there are no real alternative ways to live.
When I realized this, I knew that to really change, I needed to be around people who lived and thought differently and operated from different premises. So, I moved to Italy in large part to just try to remember what it was like to be a normal human.2
What that has meant for me in the last few months is not pushing myself when I just don't have the energy or the capacity to write.
As my readers know, my mother passed away the day after Christmas. We had a very complicated relationship, but I loved her very much. So, I have been grieving that loss and that complicated relationship. I also have been dealing with some family-related conflict in the wake of her death, which is very hard on me because my family is so important to me.
I've been exhausted, sad, and unmotivated.
In addition to that, I am renovating a Trullo here, which is not a typical renovation because it's an old, very unusual-shaped structure. The renovation is way behind schedule, and I have run into some issues that have consumed most of my time trying to resolve. These are not issues that are unique to Italy. They are issues that arise with renovations, but of course, there's an added layer because I am in Italy, and I don't speak the language and lack familiarity with how things are done here.
The old Kirsten would've pushed through the grief, fatigue, and extra work of renovating and adapting to a new country and have never missed publishing a post. The new Kirsten is listening to her body and trusting that it's okay to step back when there just isn't any energy and that everything will be okay.
I won't lie: this is hard.