When we "normalize" and integrate toxicity and negativity into our culture, we end up poisoning ourselves to death - There is a long list of stress factors including news that is not news - what's happening is that we have come to "accept" assassinations, other violent and destructive behaviors, including mass shootings, hateful condemnations, and a polarized and severely divided body politic as a "normal" part of U.S. culture - Adapting to a sick society produces sickness.
Makes me think I need to go back and look again at the question, "How did we become who we are?" That was a question that popped up in my most recent post, one from children and there may be more wisdom in that question than I first realized.
Amen to every bit of this! My only regret now is raising my children in this culture. They don’t understand (yet) or see the problem or understand why I am leaving.
It's OK. Our adult kids, with their own kids, don't understand completely why we left. Their lives are filled with work that they feel they cannot leave and children whom they do not want to leave behind, so why would we want to create more distance between us. It's not about wanting to disconnect with our kids, it's about wanting to live in a different culture. And so, we made the move a little over a year ago. We try to visit them as often as we can and they are free to come here to visit if they choose.
Yes!! We know it's unhealthy and yet we instill it into our children. I've heard culture described as the water we swim in. (We're fish in this metaphor.) When it's all we know and we're surrounded by it day in and day out, its nearly impossible to escape without a radical change, such as a move.
Kirsten, I agree with everything you have written. Unfortunately, I don't believe that systemic change can happen. The rich who make the rules will oppose any modification to the status quo that does not favor them, and too many of those who suffer under the wealthy's invisible rule refuse to see through the myths that imprison them. So unfortunately we are on our own to do the best we can. And perhaps help others along the way if possible. : )
I have two very young nieces who might live to see the next century, and I cannot imagine how stressful their lives will be given the havoc that global warming is going to create. But you're right: this is very bad.
I understand why you feel that way. It is daunting. But I feel we can’t give up. I agree that in the short term we all have to do what we can to take care of ourselves but I do feel we have a responsibility to try and help change things. But everyone is on their own path—mine is one of not giving up but I know that some people feel pulled in other directions.
Yes I feel better in just a year since I left CNN. But I have a way to go—hoping being in nature and near the ocean in Italy will make a big difference
It was a great service to re-publish this piece. I have finally gotten off the treadmill of my insane busyness in this Second Half of Life and I can finally breathe.
Thanks for posting! I'm learning and slowly getting there. My company (consulting) is fairly large (46,000 employees) and it's been slowly righting the ship for the better. Work-life balance has become a lot more important. It's not exactly like being in Italy but it's movement nonetheless. I hope it continues, not really for my sake since I'm not terribly far from the end of my career, but for the good of the future.
Pulling all nighters was a badge of honor when I was starting out. It's frowned upon now. In fact, it would be considered a sign that you failed somewhere in order to bring on that "necessity".
I hadn’t heard of existential burnout before. I definitely have had that on top of the physical burnout. Like you, I can feel how my body has changed forever from my overwork, stress, and chronic illness. But I feel so much better than I did three years ago when I was still in the thick of it. Just getting off the gerbil wheel and slowing my life down has made a big difference. And staying out of the productivity trap.
A French friend in her 60s recently went on a required 3 week therapeutic spa to treat her physical ailments. Government paid for! Imagine that. I can't even get my insurance to cover a therapeutic massage for my sciatica or long-term PT. Her elderly father was also well taken care of as his health and mental faculties declined. Instead of tearing her hair out about the high cost of nursing homes and the sub-par care, she got to spend quality time with her father during his last days. Meanwhile, the "rehab" my mother was in almost killed her.
When we "normalize" and integrate toxicity and negativity into our culture, we end up poisoning ourselves to death - There is a long list of stress factors including news that is not news - what's happening is that we have come to "accept" assassinations, other violent and destructive behaviors, including mass shootings, hateful condemnations, and a polarized and severely divided body politic as a "normal" part of U.S. culture - Adapting to a sick society produces sickness.
yep that’s right
My wife says I am master of the obvious.
Makes me think I need to go back and look again at the question, "How did we become who we are?" That was a question that popped up in my most recent post, one from children and there may be more wisdom in that question than I first realized.
Amen to every bit of this! My only regret now is raising my children in this culture. They don’t understand (yet) or see the problem or understand why I am leaving.
It's OK. Our adult kids, with their own kids, don't understand completely why we left. Their lives are filled with work that they feel they cannot leave and children whom they do not want to leave behind, so why would we want to create more distance between us. It's not about wanting to disconnect with our kids, it's about wanting to live in a different culture. And so, we made the move a little over a year ago. We try to visit them as often as we can and they are free to come here to visit if they choose.
Yes!! We know it's unhealthy and yet we instill it into our children. I've heard culture described as the water we swim in. (We're fish in this metaphor.) When it's all we know and we're surrounded by it day in and day out, its nearly impossible to escape without a radical change, such as a move.
Kirsten, I agree with everything you have written. Unfortunately, I don't believe that systemic change can happen. The rich who make the rules will oppose any modification to the status quo that does not favor them, and too many of those who suffer under the wealthy's invisible rule refuse to see through the myths that imprison them. So unfortunately we are on our own to do the best we can. And perhaps help others along the way if possible. : )
I have two very young nieces who might live to see the next century, and I cannot imagine how stressful their lives will be given the havoc that global warming is going to create. But you're right: this is very bad.
I understand why you feel that way. It is daunting. But I feel we can’t give up. I agree that in the short term we all have to do what we can to take care of ourselves but I do feel we have a responsibility to try and help change things. But everyone is on their own path—mine is one of not giving up but I know that some people feel pulled in other directions.
Yes. We all should keep trying. Pessimism is not an acceptable excuse for inaction and anything we do is better than doing nothing.
Provided of course we're lined up on the side of the good guys. : )
Yes I feel better in just a year since I left CNN. But I have a way to go—hoping being in nature and near the ocean in Italy will make a big difference
It was a great service to re-publish this piece. I have finally gotten off the treadmill of my insane busyness in this Second Half of Life and I can finally breathe.
Thank you!! And I’m so happy for you
Thanks for posting! I'm learning and slowly getting there. My company (consulting) is fairly large (46,000 employees) and it's been slowly righting the ship for the better. Work-life balance has become a lot more important. It's not exactly like being in Italy but it's movement nonetheless. I hope it continues, not really for my sake since I'm not terribly far from the end of my career, but for the good of the future.
Pulling all nighters was a badge of honor when I was starting out. It's frowned upon now. In fact, it would be considered a sign that you failed somewhere in order to bring on that "necessity".
I hadn’t heard of existential burnout before. I definitely have had that on top of the physical burnout. Like you, I can feel how my body has changed forever from my overwork, stress, and chronic illness. But I feel so much better than I did three years ago when I was still in the thick of it. Just getting off the gerbil wheel and slowing my life down has made a big difference. And staying out of the productivity trap.
Could not agree more.
A French friend in her 60s recently went on a required 3 week therapeutic spa to treat her physical ailments. Government paid for! Imagine that. I can't even get my insurance to cover a therapeutic massage for my sciatica or long-term PT. Her elderly father was also well taken care of as his health and mental faculties declined. Instead of tearing her hair out about the high cost of nursing homes and the sub-par care, she got to spend quality time with her father during his last days. Meanwhile, the "rehab" my mother was in almost killed her.